my acceptance speech for when I get an Oscar

I would like to thank McDonald's for all the burgers and all and also, speaking of burgers, why isn't there In-N-Out in Brazil? Like, what's up with that? Seriously.

Ahn... I also wanna thank like God and my mom and my dad. My dad died but he's still around, you know? Like a ghost? So he's really proud of me right now and I'm sure he would love my speech if he knew English. Sorry daddy! But yeah... I also wanna thank the guy who helped me park today because that spot was impossible to me, as a woman, to get in. So, thanks. 

I wanna thank the guy who created Bob's Burger. That's a sick show. Awesome.

Also, I wanna say that in Portuguese we have this word for Academy, which is Academia. And we use the same word for GYM. So I wanna thank the Academy for not being a GYM because if you were, I wouldn't be here today.

Thank you.