about depression and robin williams

It's funny in a rather tragic way that I have thought about this post a while ago, and now it makes so much more sense after Robin William's passing. Because, of course, lots of people feel the need to express their important opinion on every single matter of the world. Therefore, the death by suicide of one the most famous actors ever is the kind of thing that brings all the greatest minds to vomit their knowledge and absolut truth on us, through the internet. Or live. Or both.

You have heard the classic "what could this guy be depressed about?" and you probably thought to yourself:

But I am here today to answer you, worm-brained fellow reader, what could lead a wealthy famous successful actor to take his own life. You did ask, right? And I am also here to invite all of yous who can't agree but can't understand either, in a compassionate way. Actually, no, I am here to express my important opinion too, because the only person who can explain Robin is Robin and Robin is dead. But this is how I think it goes:

We dream about stuff, yes? About being rich and famous and all the things we would do if we had lots of money? And it doesn't really matter where you are in life, as long as you're not a star. You know what I am talking about, there's this line that divides us from them, doesn't matter if you are very successful and rich or you're fucked up, broke, jobless and stuff. The line is there. If only we were on the other side, am I right? And that is also the ultimate excuse for everything: we're not. We don't have that kind of money. Money is why you're not complete and fully happy. If you had money you would buy a car and if you have a car you would travel the world and if you traveled the world, you would get another tattoo... anyway, there's always something we want and we would have it if we had money. That may sound greedy and stupid but it's not: this is the tension that keeps us going. Some of us don't realize how little does money has to do with happiness as we are always persuiting it but, at the same time, living a rather happy life. Yes, happy. Not comercial de Doriana happy but not-in-despair. The not having everything, the single fact that we have problems to overcome is healthy and gives us reason to get out of bed in the morning, regardless of our humor. 

But think about it for a second. Say you do have all the money and success you could desire. Then yes, you bought that car and that house and you eat sushi everyday and you get to travel to whatever corner of the world you want at any time. You look good and you have no worries at all. Not. A. Single. Problem.

For how long would you be happy? Honestly, how long do you think this excitment would last? How would you keep things interesting? What's the point of doing that thing you would probably do if you already have unlimited money. Now what? Now you have to be happy simply because you have no more reason not to be. What's the point? What would your ultimate excuse be? Can you begin to imagine how it feels? Can you cope with a life where you can't blame anything on anything?

Feeling heroic? Well, there's people dying all over the place because of wars, ebola, ignorance, cancer, malasyian airlines... and yep, maybe you can help a few people but there will be always someone you couldn't save. How does it feel to sleep on your million-dollar bed knowing that children are being raped somewhere?

Also, who can you trust? Who are your true friends? Who would love you if you weren't a star? What is really the feeling of unconditional love? What is real? What isn't? 

Think about it.

And then judge, I don't care. But think about it.