regret

Regret is a forbidden word around here. I fully understand why. But sometimes and sometimes only I feel this unamed feeling that looks a lot like regret. It comes with guilty, guilty for being regret. What should I do about it? Lie? Can't be done, one cannot lie to oneself. I try my best to rethink and find reasons why I did the best thing to do. But I usually fail at it for it is also a self lie.
I have been scared these days. I was told I will not be able to put myself together the way I thought I would. I am scared to think of the reason, you know? Hope it's not hospital related, cemetery related or some other kind of pain related. To be quite honest, I hope this is just another matter of misunderstanding.

I use english when I'm being too girly so that you don't waste your time on posts that are not worth. But I'm guessing I might have to learn french, huh? :)